A Failure To Make Up For All Of My Mistakes

by Mitchell Bergeron

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about

This album was influenced by recent events in my life and rediscovering 70's rock music.

credits

released October 12, 2016

Mitchell Bergeron - Guitars, Vocals, Programmed Bass and Drums

Album Cover Photo by Phil Smith

Special thanks to Andrew Siller for letting me borrow his pop filter.

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about

Mitchell Bergeron Burlington, Vermont

I am a writer, musician, and performer that focuses on making the audience question the sincerity of my work. My experimental work focuses on the endurance of the audience, while my rock music focuses on making the audience question the honesty of the piece.

Link to my Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/mitchellbergeron

Feel free to send me an email at Mitchb6@gmail.com
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Track Name: I Feel Awful
I feel hungry but I don't want to eat.
My stomach is empty but that emptiness has weight.
I feel tired but I can't fall asleep.
I lie in the dark wallowing as I wait for morning.
My left arm starts shaking. I try to hold it still but now both my my arms shake.
I stare longingly at the blank spaces between furniture, thinking about all the reasons I have to live and there are several, but none of them make me feel any better.
I purposefully glue myself to social media, lie and say it's a distraction when in reality I do it because I know it will make me feel worse, but attached.
Attached to other people even if it's though liking posts, because I can't stand to be alone, because I can't stand myself.
I need constant validation of my existence and that's a problem.
Any time I'm by myself for more than an hour I start contemplation if I matter and most of the time the answer is yes I matter, but not in the ways and to the people I want to matter too.

That is an awful thing to say, I feel awful
saying it.
Track Name: You Can Kill It But It Won't Go Away
There are some days
I don’t even want to get out of bed
And everything seems so pointless
And I know that this feeling won’t go away
Oh but maybe it’ll subside for a while If I'm lucky

There ain’t nothing but pain today
Just sorrow coming my way
Ain’t it clear what I’m trying to say
You can kill it but it won’t go away

Yes you can kill it but it won’t go away
You can kill it but it won’t go away

You’ve seen the smiles as they dance across your screens
All the happiness from the people that you’ve seen
You form one yourself but it’s just a mask
And you don’t know how long it will last

There ain’t nothing but pain today
Just sorrow coming my way
Ain’t it clear what I’m trying to say
You can kill it but it won’t go away

You can kill it but it won’t go away
You can kill it but it won’t go away

There ain’t nothing but pain today
Just sorrow coming my way
Ain’t it clear what I’m trying to say
You can kill it but it won’t go away

You can kill it but it won’t go away
It’ll fester, rot, and decay
You can kill it but it won’t go away
You can kill it but it won’t go away

Yes you can kill it but it won’t go away
You can kill it but it won’t go away
Track Name: Flawed Logic
I have a pantheon of emotions
All of which are negative.
I hate how much faith I have in them.
I hate myself.

If I end up like a failure it's because I've been one all along.
Woah, that's flawed logic.
Woah, I'm flawed.

A ray of light slices through my window, cutting my table in half.
Eventually the sun will set and my table will be whole again.
But I miss my table.

If I end up like a failure it's because I've been one all along.
Woah, that's flawed logic.
Woah, I'm flawed.

Woah that’s flawed logic.
Woah flawed logic.

If I end up like a failure it's because I've been one all along.
Woah, that's flawed logic.
Woah, I am flawed.
Track Name: I Don't Want To Be Around
Feeling down
I’m feeling down

And I don’t want to be around
I don’t wanna be around
I don’t want to be around
I don’t want to be around

And I can’t see
What’s out there for me
All my dreams
They’ll never be

And I don’t want to be around
I don’t wanna be around
I don’t want to be around
I don’t want to be around

All my dreams they don’t matter
Well, I could scream but it won’t matter

And I don’t want to be around
I don’t want be around
I’d prefer to not be found
I don’t want to be around

I feel like I’m drowning
In all of my frowning
And you keep on shouting
To swim to the shore
But I don’t want to be around anymore
Oh I don’t want to be around anymore
Oh I don’t want to be around anymore
I don’t want to be around anymore
Track Name: Fade Away
It’s the same old thing day after day
Rotting inside, but I can't feel the decay
Maybe you know what to do?
I’m sorry I’m dropping this all on you

Maybe I’ll just fade away
Maybe I’ll just fade away
It’s the same old thing day after day
Slowly but surely I’m fading away
Oh yeah

In the darkness I search for the light
It’s artificial most of the time
Even when I see it I feel so down in the dumps
And I can’t pull myself out of hell with these weak arms

Maybe I’ll just fade away
Maybe I’ll just fade away
It’s always the same day after day
Oh I’m fading, fading away

Maybe I’ll just fade away
Maybe I’ll just fade away
It’s always the same day after day
Oh I’m fading, fading away
Track Name: Dead And Gone
Echoes of your footsteps on my door
But you been gone away, long gone that's for sure
Oh Tomorrow will come but you won’t return
Oh my mind’s in the gutter I’m gone too

But when you leave this time
Let the shadows fall behind you
And the setting sun looks good
When you got nothing to look forward to except
The cool of the night

When I’m dead
And I’m gone
You won’t remember me
After long

When I’m dead
And I’m gone
You won’t remember me
After long

God dammit I can’t understand
Why I keep feeling the way I am
And it’s all
In my mind

I can’t see that far, oh my god I’m near sighted as hell
And I’m losing sleep, and my eyes don’t work no good no more
And I want to go
I want to go so far but I don’t move all
And I know there won’t be no one like you
For a long, long time
And I’ll try to carry on
But I don’t want to carry on, But you know I gotta try
Oh I want to feel, feel it again

And I know
you won’t Remember me after long
Because it’s in your heart, burning in your chest
It’s killing me

When I’m dead
And I’m gone
No one will remember me
After long

When I’m dead
And I’m gone
You won’t remember me
After long

Oh God dammit I can’t understand
Why I keep feeling the way I am
And it’s all
In my mind

When I’m dead
And I’m gone
No one will care
After long

When I’m dead
And I’m gone
You won’t remember me
After long

Oh God dammit I can’t understand
Why I keep feeling the way I am
And it’s all
It’s all
In my mind
Track Name: Sweet Nothings
I’ve got something to discuss with you
My mind’s made up, let’s hope I follow through
Oh maybe baby you can tell me something I wanna hear
And I promise, promise that I’ll listen to you

There ain’t nothing but shit lying down this road
But we’ll go there baby, if you wanna go
Sweet nothings sound so good in my ear
They’re the only thing I wanna hear

Oh sweet nothings sound so good in my ear

Well if you wanna spit in my face, that’s alright by me
Honey with you by my side, there’s nothing that I need to see
Oh you know there ain’t no place I’d rather be
So baby, baby won’t whisper to me

There ain’t nothing but but shit lying down this road
But we’ll go there baby, if you wanna go
Sweet nothings sound so good in my ear
They’re the only thing I wanna hear

Sweet nothings sound so good in my ear

There ain’t nothing but but shit lying down this road
But we’ll go there baby, if you wanna go
Sweet nothings sound so good in my ear
They’re the only thing I need hear

Sweet nothings sound so good in my ear
Track Name: Open Book
Let me tell you a secret, one I keep close to my heart
I'm getting shit together as I fall apart
It's nice to get it off my chest

Oh let me whisper to you softly all my greatest fears
And you tell me all the awful things I need to hear
Tomorrow may not come around for a while

I want to run away
But there's no where I want to go
I want to run away
But there's no where I want to go

Maybe there's a chance, that everything'll work out
A chance is all I have left to believe in right now
But I'm losing my faith

Your hands feel so cold as I hold them in mine
we lie on these porch steps, just losing track of all time
I'm such an open book when I get high

I want to run away
But there's no where I want to go
I want to run away
But there's no where I want to go

I want to run away
But there's no where I want to go
I want to run away
But there's no where I want to go
Track Name: Stay Strong
I look at myself in the mirror
And I want to change my face
I wish I could be anyone else
But me

It gets so hard to keep moving
When your motivation’s gone
And your dreams are just as far away
As they’ve always been

But I will stay strong
I will hold on
For you
I'll hold on for you

And I don't know what I expected you to say
All I know it's my fault anyway
And honey, there’s a price we all got to pay
And mine’s just a slow slide right into decay

You all keep me holding on
And tear me away from these feelings that I don't belong
For once in my life I'll admit that I am wrong
So I will hold on

I will stay strong
I will hold on
For you
I'll hold on for you

I will stay strong
And I will hold on
For you
I'll hold on for you
Track Name: A Failure To Make Up For All Of My Mistakes
I'm not thinking about the long run
I'm just thinking about the short track
I'm trying to keep it together
But my mask is about to crack
Oh another failure to make up
for all my mistakes
I gave you all I got
There's nothing more you can take

I think about the good times
And wonder how many I got left
Because I all I focus on right now
Are past tears I've wept
So I buy some bottom shelf whiskey and fill my cup to the brim
Cause I don't want to deal with these feelings again
I want to fall asleep, but I'm so far from home
You may get lonely, yeah but I'm the one that's all alone

I'm not thinking about the long run
I'm just thinking about the short track
I'm trying to keep it together
But my mask is about to crack
Oh another failure to make up
for all my mistakes
I gave you all I got
There's nothing more you can take

Well the shadows of the city
Make me want to crawl out of my skin
I want to find a hole to die in just not the one I'm In
So I surround myself with good people
To help me feel so sane
Or at least to distract me
From the voices in my brain
But the voices in my head
Always outnumber my friends
And I feel so guilty about existing again

I'm not thinking about the long run
I'm just thinking about the short track
I'm trying to keep it together
But my mask is about to crack
Oh another failure to make up
for all my mistakes
I gave you all I got
There's nothing more you can take

Say it for me slowly so that I'll understand
All the lies I need to believe to feel like an honest man
In a society that's quick to kill and divert the blame
It's only because I'm white and a man that I'm told I shouldn't feel ashamed
But I've been wide awake for awhile now
And I can't go back to sleep
Oh I want to climb the hill but dammit the walk’s just too steep
So I wear a smile across my face
It fools most but we both know it's a fake

Well I'm not thinking about the long run
I'm just thinking about the short track
I'm trying to keep it together
But my mask is about to crack
Oh another failure to make up
for all my mistakes
I gave you all I got
There's nothing more you can take